I left the Philippines 18 months ago. Brave and excited with the adventures ahead of me, I headed south of the globe to New Zealand. I know back then that I play it by ears, but everything was so fast and I just find myself in the middle of a country completely strange to me. I was confident, and I never realize that I brought too much of it until 9 months later that I can’t find any suitable job. Forward to present, I am in Singapore brought here by shame and the need to earn a decent sum of money to bring back some substantial amount to my heavily damaged pocket. It’s unbelievable how one step in one’s life can end up to so many drastic changes.
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Tomorrow, I’ll be seeing my mom and sister again (since 18 months ago). They’ll be coming over, my sister for a week, and my mom for a full month. I will be having a 5-day break from work starting tomorrow to have more time with them, and I suppose this is more practical than myself going for a vacation in the Philppines. I will be taking the opportunity to abandon (temporarily, can’t wait for permanently) my work too as I’m so fed up with almost everything in the office, but it comes with a price, I don’t get paid for the days I don’t work. Nice.
I’m glad, despite not seeing everyone in the family and friends and all relatives back home, at least I’ll be seeing people dearest to me that have been behind me with all the things I’ve been doing no matter where they lead to. I admit that if there’s such a thing as a homesickness meter, I’ll flunk it, and I’m saying that not because I hate my country (in fact, I’m always proud of being a Filipino) nor I don’t want to see people I know back home, but because I just realize that I have a life of my own and I can’t just go back and weep everytime I fail. As cliche as it sounds, you cannot hold on to things and sometimes you just have to see it for yourself, you have to learn it the hard way.
