it has been a month since my last post that says at least some sense, so i think i would take time to sit down and type something. to be honest, i feel tired. i finished my shift at the casino at half past 3 in the morning earlier today, and will be back for a 9-hour shift later at 6pm, which is about 2 hours from now. i’ve been having graveyard shift the past few days, and tonight will be the worst as i’ll finish later at 3.30 am, which is, technically monday, and will have to go back to start another shift at 11am, on the very same monday morning!
obviously, i need money, and i work while there’s still work. there have been weeks that i only have 10 hours of shift and it is even less than the amount of rent and dues i have to pay..so these days, i work 7 days straight. one person from work resigned, and 2 others are on vacation. so, i guess i better take advantage and rake in as much money as i can.
everyone is leaving. the mexican brothers left the flat (they replaced the argentines) for thailand a few days ago, and i’m now sharing the apartment with 2 american girls on working holiday. with much people leaving, i really really feel that being here is pointless. i’m just basically waiting for my visa to expire, and surely, i’ll be in the next plane out of this country. it’s becoming frustrating, devastating, disappointing, and demoralizing. it seems this country doesn’t need me in the first place, and please don’t get me wrong. i don’t dislike this country. i only dislike the way how it reacts during recession, which is self-centered in a way. migrants are invited here because there is a gap to fill, the gap left by myriads of kiwi leaving for australia, UK, and other countries for better opportunities. during recession, and now that we’re here, we would greatly appreciate any kind of support from the government in settling and getting through immigration process. but we don’t get any. instead, they bend the rules to our disadvantage, they decreased the list of job shortages, prioritize kiwi in all job sectors, which eventually led to migrants being kicked out, back to their own native lands where they lost their jobs long time ago, and sold a lot of their properties. new zealand is an amazing, relax country to move into, but during recession, it is simply the worst. it happily accepts migrants when it needs, it happily pushes them out when it doesn’t need.
if i would only choose and do everything i can without limits, there are really a number of ways to remain in this country. one is converting into a student visa, which will allow me to study and work part time, and after a year, would be entitled to a full-year of open work permit. however, i don’t think i feel like studying and i don’t have the luxurious amount of time, which is a year, to waste. i’ve been in this land close to 8 months, and that is sufficient. another way, which is more obvious to all TNT-to-be, is to marry a local. i do not want to be tied up, nor i am ready for that. there’s nothing more to be explained.
and so, i can sense i will be leaving this land soon. i don’t know if i will be happy with that or not. i’m not frightened of what’s ahead of me, because i’m sure it will be better.
