the fuss

Friday, July 3rd, 2009

i don’t really want to bother people reading this blog with all the hardship and misfortunes entailing my life at the moment, but i just can’t avoid writing it here. it’s my way of releasing any disappointments and frustrations, which sadly at the moment, is becoming bigger and closer. i really don’t feel comfortable people taking pity of me, so if i sounded too much depressed, don’t worry unnecessarily. should i be needing help, which probably would be financial help anyway, i know there would even be less people to come into, and moral support is something i have got of too much. too much that i’ve been embarking on this venture for more than half a year now and still able to eat 3 meals a day, and go have some luxury at times, that i’ve actually just been to coromandel penisula weeks ago with the argentines.

the nicolases left the flat and the city, and having not much shift at the casino, i decided to join them. pragmatically, this is something worth doing as i’ve never been to the area, which is renowned for its landscape, brilliant shorelines, and the filming site of lewis’ narnia (prince caspian). seeing the rural once again was a relief after having been to the biggest city for quite a while engrossed with casual work and my indefinite quest to find an IT job. the setting looks fresher and greener as we move farther and farther away from the city. old mama, a 1984-skylite-toyota van was my home for 4 days and 3 nights, and is still currently the home of nicolases as they do seasonal work in te puke. briefly stopping at thames, and then reaching coromandel centre by nightfall, we were stuck in a muddy bank and just decided to stay at the very spot until the next day. it’s not a camping area, but since there’s no camping area around, we thought it’s a good excuse if the police or some people throw us out. by daylight, we didn’t even have to ask for help as a pick-up pulled over and towed old mama back to the road. the temperature overnight dropped as low as 1C, if not freezing, and old mama just hates that, that we still had some problems starting her up, and after quick fix with the battery, the engine made spluterring sounds and then we were back on the road. port jackson, the tip of coromandel, can be accessed by travelling further north, passing by the small town of colbie, which is the last town with petrol and food supply. the route to the tip was amazing, tracking both semi-paved and rough roads, crossing rivers, seeing infinite shorelines and the pacific ocean from a far. hills dotted by sheeps and all sorts of cattles, which is a bit weird and funny as they look at you, and stare in your eyes! arriving at the campsite, there’s no electricity, but there’s water, only it’s ice cold. obviously starving then, we cooked our version of risotto improvising with the ingredients we have. the camp is perfectly situated in front of a beach, and it was just pleasing to relax, and lie on the sand, listen to the waves, and stare at the cloudless sky, seeing countless of stars. i’ve never seen so much stars before, there’s really no other source of light at the camp apart from the bonfires, some small fishing boats from a distance, and a small blinking light i suppose from a lighthouse in top of a small island. the next day was a short hike to the pinnacles, but since the tide was high, we had to climb by the hills, and just had a view of the pinnacles from top. staying again for another night in the camp, we decided to cook pasta by bonfire (we cooked risotto by the portable stove the other night), which is not too bad i guess. the next day was home time for me as i have shift the day after. driving back to coromandel centre early in the morning (around 2 hours), we just got to the town exactly at the perfect time as the intercity mini-bus is leaving in 2 minutes, and it’s the only bus leaving the centre that day! i was a bit lucky for that since i have no idea about the bus schedule, and was thinking of hitchhiking should there’s no public transpo available. and so, leaving the nicolases after sharing the flat with them for about 2 months, i got on my bus and headed for whitianga, and then thames, and back to the city of auckland.

photos here.

now, back to what’s happening so far. i’m in the flat at the moment, and would go to the cafe in a few hours. i made some revisions in my CV, which i hope would make some difference, and would still continue to look for jobs online. last night, petra, my friend from czech stayed in my room (i slept in the sofa in case you’ll ask!!) as she was just passing in the city for her flight back home today. sometimes i just can’t believe at myself how stubborn i am in this quest. i’m starting to feel maybe i’m overly determined to find a job and stay in this place, and probably this is not the right place for me after all. every time friends pass by this city (because usually they exit the country from here), i always feel happy for them. happy in a way that i know to be back home is always welcoming. i always had in mind that someday, it would be my turn to fly home once again. do not get me wrong that i might convey it’s a suffering to be out of the country. i enjoy travelling so much that i have no regrets having gone this far, but when you feel low at times, being home is undoubtedly somewhere where you can just go and worrying less would come naturally. i know it’s not merely because you have your family and friends back home, but that’s one, but it’s more of everything back home is something you are used to. i know perfectly every corners of my bed, the shapes of my pillows, and the pile of books i have in my shelves. it almost seems ironic coming from my mouth as i always wanted change that’s why i keep on seeking other places to go and visit and more opportunities to embark, because i often feel sick of the very same places and things i do each day, but sometimes i also feel sick trying to discover more out of this life, that maybe it’s not too bad to be dealing with just the usual. or maybe not.