happy birthday to me!

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

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i am in the wonderland.

Friday, June 5th, 2009

i’ve been awakened this morning by the loud ring of my mobile. a call from the company i’ve been last friday for an exam and interview. i’ve been waiting patiently for this call, and meaning to hear from them for the reason that as of now, this is my only card. i don’t have any other ongoing IT application, and much of what i have in my mail are junks and the canned replies of sorry-but-we-found-other-suitable-candidate bullshit. the moment she said hi in the call, i was trying to make from her voice if it’s good news or bad, but unfortunately, i can’t. but then, she speaks more less cheerful i know it’s bad. and it is. things have been falling apart.

i lost my card.

takeaway or eat here?

june 3, 2009

i was asked to go home 2 hours before my shift ends. it was partly good as i feel lazy and sleepy despite having slept 12 full hours last night. it was also bad as it means i just lost 2-hour worth of income, which is rated at $12.90 an hour. to be honest, it was not really busy today, and working as casual, i understand that i might finish earlier or later depending on how the gaming floor is like. maybe sometimes, people really just don’t feel like gambling, which, showing a little bit of concern to these pity addicts, is good to their welfare. for more than a week now, i’ve been working inside as a food server and i hate it. facing the food warmer, refilling food, taking and setting orders, and greeting the customer with the most pleasant sounding “hi”, “hey”, and “hello” i could ever make while engulfed in hot steam like i am in sauna. once tired of the same old greeting, i conjugate the word “there” making “hi there!”, “hey there!”, and “hello there!”, which sounds a bit desperate, but is not too bad at all making more variations of welcoming flabby diners.

the boss comes to the place from time to time, and this afternoon, he just happened to come up at exactly the wrongest time it could possibly be when the place is so quiet, and all of us (including the cashier) standing still doing nothing like in a firing squad waiting for a command. he then asked us to tidy the place a bit, lift the rubber mat, sweep behind drawers and cabinets, and mop the area. he is really the kind of person who won’t be happy if he sees his staff having and enjoying some idle time, which is a typical kiwi attitude i suppose.

so, at the tick of 5:00 o’clock in the afternoon, i’m gone. i went to the backdoor and scanned my index finger for time out, walked downstairs. a quick trip to 24-7, the staff canteen, revealed the same food i had during my first break at half past 1, and so i decided for my stomach not to be hungry. then to the locker room where i changed my clothes and shoes, passing the toilets, and scanned back my used uniform, a longsleeves and trousers. both black.

it was too early to be back home so i walked along queen’s street, and dropped by the internet cafe to check my mail, and if there’s anything new like jobs from seek, chatted a bit with some friends, logged in facebook (alright, as well as friendster), and maybe some possible flat i could moved to when our current contract expires. my stomach now decided to be hungry, i walked out of the cafe to burger king for a whopper with fries and a refillable drink. finishing it in a few minutes, i had my paper cup refilled, covered with a drinking straw, and started to walk up hobson street. there’s a dunkin’ donut on my way, where i bought 6 munchins. bavarian kreme. $3.90. then realizing that each small bite-sized circles of flour weighing almost nothing is 20 pesos. each. i had a good big cold gulp from my burger king drink.

now i’m back in the flat, in my own tiny room with nothing more than a bed, a closet, and some used clothes hanging around. a full trash can in one corner, and an unhanged cheap painting on the floor. some books lying on the carpet that obviously needs vacuuming. a towel that i use as a curtain is hanging by the window, and a sleeping bag, duvet, and 2 pillows jumbled on a single-sized bed. and me typing this silly thing.

and then i realize it’s going to be birthday 4 nights from now. my 26th year on earth. wow. i am that old. 26 years. more than 2 decades, more than 2 and a half decades. technically, i’m not mid-20’s anymore, but late 20’s. for the first time in my life, i will become closer to becoming a 30 than a 20. looking around me, i can’t avoid but feel like i’m wasting my life. in an age as mature this, my career is going nowhere. i still don’t have an IT job, and much of my savings have been used up. i don’t have my family or close friends around me, and all the possessions i have can be stuck in a 70-liter backpack. as a consolation, it’s a good vaude backpack.

the other day, i was reading and browsing the nz herald i found in the sofa. surprised at myself, it was the first time i throughly read a periodic in such a long time. nothing’s really much going on apart from the air france plane missing across the atlantic on its way from brazil to france, which reminds me of the fictional tv series lost. other silly things in the news such as 2 penpals who have been exchanging letters for more than 60 years, and finally seeing each other, prince harry cooking for his brother prince william (or the other way around, i didn’t pay much attention at such crappy news), the last living survivor of titanic just died, a man in egypt cuts his own penis due to marital concerns, and this one article that discusses how pharmaceutical companies are confused in making anti-flu vaccines for seasonal flu, swine flu, or both. because if they make vaccines for both, the supply would then be less that less people will be immunized by each kind of flu. lol. how insubstantial. with all the uncompetitiveness and disappointments, i am starting to realize if i am really in a place i want.

nadal lost in the clay for the first time.