MOVE

With the recent news of i.ph’s shutting down, I’d like to announce that I moved to donutbai.wordpress.com.

I’ve started wordpress when I moved to Cebu, but I know I’m still behind post. I just felt that I’m obliged to give my readers here (if any) that information.

This blog is where I started and the most documented form I have about my every move so, it means a lot to me.

Thanks to all the admin of i.ph, and wishing you a great new beginning.

All’s well that ends well

It was just the hype.

I started this blog for the reason that it sounded cool to have a blog back then. One becomes a blogger, talks and shares about things he encountered during the day, which in my case are mostly insubstantial topics anyway. But that is precisely what I like about blogging. It is the freedom. No one has the right to criticize the blogger, although I’ve dealt with a pretty good amount of English Nazis (God bless them).

I’ve stayed in this place, figuratively, for about 6 years, I think. That’s a significant amount of documentation of my entire existence on planet earth, which is 10,364 days including today (That is, assuming I’m not dying later), and given the fact that I’ve started writing here 2,065 days ago in Hong Kong, which shouldn’t matter as I’m now in the same time zone of UTC/GMT +8 hours, and so for the benefit of Sheldonic friends and readers out there (Come out, don’t be shy), it makes up of 19.92% of my life when rounded off 2 decimal places, which should even be higher when adjusted for marginal errors because it was technically impossible for me to blog during my childhood when I can’t even read or write.

Okay, enough.

Normally I would have posted something of saying like “Hi” or “Hello” again after more than 4 months of hiatus, but this time it’s ironic to think that I’m saying “Goodbye.” I didn’t mean to just abandon blogging. I’ll probably make a new start or something, but I don’t have anything solid at the moment. I guess I’m a very opinionated person and despite people saying I’m timid or shy, I really talk a lot when I’m comfortable so I’m sure it won’t be that long that you’d miss me.

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It amazes me and at the same time I feel proud, when people ask me randomly “Where are you now?”, because I realize I’ve set up an image of self-independence and being disconnected. Well, being disconnected is something that doesn’t sound very positive, you’re right, but what I was just trying to say is that I didn’t rely on other people’s decision. I’m not a coefficient in front of an unknown variable.

Right this time, I’m in Cebu City, back in my home country, the Philippines. Although not an alien here, it’s some 540km away from home as the crow flies, and I’ve felt the same feeling I have whenever I’m in a new place. People speak a language I can’t understand (Although most can speak Tagalog and English), unfamiliar streets and strangers everywhere, different mode of transportation (It’s cool they use LPG taxis here). Perhaps, the biggest thing I don’t have to adjust to is that the money is the same peso, and I didn’t have to apply for a work permit to earn a living.

You were probably wondering what happened in Singapore. People are coming out of my country faster than the speed of diarrhea, yet I chose to come back. “Nandun ka na, umalis ka pa.” (You were there, you still left), or maybe a better and more practical way of saying it, “Nakaalis ka na, bumalik ka pa” (You have left already, you still returned).

I’ll tell you one thing. Making the decision of moving back home is one of the easiest decisions I made, and you know what I find the hardest to figure out? It is not being able to grasp something in Singapore that would make me want to stay, of course, apart from my beloved friends

So despite being used to being rational, I was left with no choice but to believe the most irrational reason why I left Singapore. It is because it’s not a role I was meant to play.

Farewell, and thank you for everything.

Happy Birthday.

Once again, it’s this time of the year. I turned 28 today but frankly, everything was just normal. I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock, and had my early routine battle with consciousness and staying in bed. It was from a dreamless sleep, just like most of my sleep. I guess people just don’t dream much as they get older. Or maybe I had one and I’ll just remember it later in the day, that happens a lot of times.

I thought of not going to work, but I realized it won’t do me any good. So, I haul my body to the shower, quickly dressed up, and I’m ready to go. Office is about 40 minutes from our apartment, that includes all the walks, train, and elevator time. Just like most days, I’m sharp. Okay, maybe a minute or two late, but that’s minor I think.

 After a rapid visit to my boss for daily attendance, I turned on the monitor of my computer pretending to be off from yesterday. Then, I walked to the pantry to get my coffee. I ate my breakfast. Fried sunny-side-up egg sandwich which I prepared last night. I made two. One in the morning, and another in the afternoon. It was bland and cold. Later on, the second one was colder.

Lunch time was with Filipino colleagues. I ordered fish fillet. Even if I wanted to, I’m not in the position to treat lunch. But I still appreciate greetings. Lunch chitchats, and while they were all busy with their phones playing games, I took a nap.

The afternoon part is always harder to bear. I don’t want to bring myself in bad light, and appear to be some lazy dumbass employee. I’m extremely far from that, and I’m confident in making this statement. Let’s just say that right now, I’m giving the most adequate amount of effort. Believe me, this is me, just being just.

Insignificantly, my day ended.

Jeremy reviews Nike+ Sportsband

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PH Vacation [Apr - May 2011]

Southeast Asia → Philippines → Luzon → Oriental Mindoro → Puerto Galera

I have been sick the past 2 weeks, which is right after being back in Singapore, and I didn’t intend that, of course. The timing was so bad because I needed to be at tiptop shape for the marathon training. With the event coming in less than 2 weeks, I’m now making out the most of my free time training but cautious on not overtraining myself. Last Saturday was the longest run I had since the Standard Chartered’s half marathon (Dec 2010). At about 18 or 19km mark, I begin to feel serious sharp pain on my left knee, the same knee that has been complaining before, and met an accident in Langkawi. I had to drag myself to finish 20.91km, and I can feel I was intentionally not bending my left knee as much as I do with my right. Frankly, I am not tired yet. I’m confident running out of breath or being tired is not a threat to my full marathon quest. I guess I have enough endurance, but apparently, my knee is troubled.

I had it checked and xrayed at the Philippine Orthopedics last February but they found nothing. I wasn’t advised to stop or refrain from running so I guess I’m good. I notice the pain happens when I stop suddenly or when I abruptly change my pace considerably. It’s not like muscle pain, which in my opinion is something easier to bear, and muscle pain is too soon to attack while I’m still running. The pain is sharp similar to a broken bone, or when you lose your footing, or when you smash yourself against something hard. I can still manage to run while it attacks, but as soon as I stop, it will be even more painful.

Yet, I’m still determined, so we’ll see that next weekend.

I forgot to mention anything about my last vacation back home, which was very quick. My sister’s wedding went fine. It’s not a big occasion really, with only about 60 or 70 guests. All my relatives from my father’s side boycotted it, but they were all invited. Less stomach to fill, the better. I still have to post pictures I took from the event, but I didn’t take that much anyway. There were swarms of paid photographers and videographers and I don’t want to ruin any chance they have to capture the moment.

I’m happy to be able to take a proper break and spend time in the beach. I was in Puerto Galera, in Mindoro, for 2 days with a group of highschool barkada, and this is the same group I’ve been with to the same destination 5 years ago, plus other road trips and adventure to Palawan, Alaminos, Subic, Tanay, etc. It was nice to see and spend time with everyone again and relax. I know I was at home just last February, but I’ve been so occupied with my sister’s shooting then.

Although it was the beach we came for, we spent more of our time not on the beach. We ran out of time to do snorkelling, but we’ve than that before so we made the decision to take a hired multicab to elsewhere. Destination is Tukuran river/falls, which is more or less an hour from White beach, with stopovers in a hanging bridge, a panorama view of the sea, and less exciting Tamaraw falls. Once reaching the small village of San Isidro, we had to ride on a carriage pulled by a 4-year old nameless carabao, which we later named Karl. All 7 adults, plus Kuya Charlie, the “driver”. It was my first time to witness a carabao fully at work, and you couldn’t describe strong the creature is. It only consumes wild grass and water yet it’s extremely powerful and efficient. It hauls us downhill and uphill, wading across running stream without hesitation except once when he needs to shit (hehe).

Tukuran falls is a series of falls with deep pools and rocky edges. I liked the sport of rock climbing and hopping from sides to sides although it was a bit daunting having no harness. I don’t have a lot of pictures in the wet part as I don’t have my waterproof camera with me, and I’m not risking (much) Billy, my Canon camera. I highly recommend visiting the area next time you go to Galera. Don’t mistake it with Tamaraw falls, which is closer. Not that the latter was bad, but if you like something off-the-beaten-track, Tukuran is the choice. We paid Php 2,500.00 for the multicab (for all 7 of us), 50 pesos each for Karl (the carabao), and I guess another 20 pesos each for environmental fee. To save you from computing, that is 427.14 pesos each, and the tour takes at least half day. We started early at about 5 or 6AM, and we were back in White beach at 12 noon. We stayed in a cheap but clean and air-conditioned room with television for Php 2,500.00 a night. Just thye basics, no hot water or swimming pool. This was even grand as we went to Alaminos before and stayed in a 900-peso non-airconditioned room for a night! The 80-minute boat transfer from Batangas pier to White beach, Mindoro is Php 450.00 roundtrip at the time of this writing (May 2011), there’s an environmental fee of Php 50.00 each, and a terminal fee of Php 30.00.

That was my third time to the island and it has changed so much in the last 5 or 6 years. When I was there first time with my family, they don’t have ATM, and the nearest was in Calapan. My sister and I had to ride a tricycle and spend almost 2 hours each way on the rough road. Now, they have ATMs in a nearby town, and van services ply from the beach to Calapan City.

Mindoro is also known for hiking and is home to arguably the toughest trek in the Philippines, Mt Halcon. Death and accidents are not unusual to the area, but still I’m looking forward to going back and conquering the summit.

Jake + JM (AV2)

Jake + JM (AV1)

Gaano kahaba ang iyong …?

Pasensya.

Today, I have 5 months, 4 days left to stay in Singapore. I give myself a warm pat on the back for making it this far (PBB contestant, isdatyu??). Patience is a quality I’m not really known for having much. If you know my stories and rants, living in Singapore has been a constant struggle. Moving here 19 months ago, I least expected this from an industrialized country. I’ve tried to get out of this mess a long time ago, but well, I’m still right here.
 
When I said I don’t have much patience, I guess it all really depends on the context. I’m probably the most pathetic self-taught pianist to boldly try a Tiersen’s music. I spend 2 hours in one-sitting on my semi-weighted keyboard just to finish 3 or 4 bars of music, which is perhaps just 10 seconds long. And I haven’t even perfected it. But in the end of my practice, with my sored and strained fingers, I’m happy.
 
I tried surfing once in Desaru (Malaysia, not a Japanese village despite sounding like one), and I braved its mighty waters, it smashes right against me, waves hit my board fiercely, it went literally flying tagging along my leg. But I never gave in. I’m the kind who doesn’t give up easily if I’m into it.
 
Could you imagine that at my very mature age of 27 I’m still hoping (onlyy tinnny bit) for a career change? (Rhetorical question, don’t answer.) Last week, I started doing an audio-visual production for my sister’s wedding coming by the end of the month, which is next week actually. On my first day with the project, at 2 o’clock in the morning, I checked my time. I spent close to 4 hours playing around a convoluted Adobe software only to finish the day with a 10-second animation. That’s an average working time of 24 minutes PER second of edited video. Great. 180 more seconds to go as my planned AV is 3 minutes and 10 secs long. If I will be working on the same pace, I still have 4,320 more minutes to work on, which is equal to 72 hours of constant work. No sleep, no eat, no toilet break, no nothing but the computer and me.
 
But still, I think the 10-second animation I’ve started doesn’t look that bad. Not the spectacularly-breathtaking-eyegasmic-sick kind, but it’s neat. That’s probably the safest adjective for it. Neat. (I’ll reserve that spectacularly-breathtaking-eyegasmic-sick kind for later on).

What I’m trying to say is that I persist in all things, even when I don’t like it. But sometimes, you just ask yourself, what is all about these sacrifices? What is the point of staying? You give your best shot but did they appreciate it? No.

My boss just came back from his glorious overseas vacation (of course, leave with pay whereas I don’t get a single hour of paid leave in my entire 2-year contract. I’M NOT LYING.). He has been relentlessly asking me for another year contract extension. I guess this is the 4th time he asked me about it and the rumor spread like fire. Sooner, all the other people around me were asking about it. I always keep my cool and say I’ll have to think about it because 5 months is still a long time.
 
See? I’m not that bad and I even gave him hope. Knowing inside me that the likelihood I’ll stay is if and only if they give me at least 250,000 PH pesos per month. Tax-free. Fine, even if it’s gross. I would even fix them coffee everyday.
 
Saying this answers my question earlier about making sacrifices. The obvious answer for me is because of money. To buy me security; pleasurable tangible things; investments, etc., but how much would you really be contented? How much is enough? More than any mathematical challenge, it’s harder to set the margin when to say that sacrifices are worth it. That is relative.

What is my own margin? I looked around me. I see my things. Although I don’t have a fancy iPhone 4 (I’m using an obscure Siemens phone, displaying the least possible colors on its LCD without being greyscale, and decent enough to have a poor 1.3MP camera), I have a relatively new laptop, a good dSLR and several lenses, photo printer and other photography and videography gears, my M-Audio 88-keys of course, and other minor gadgets and things. I don’t skip meals or starve myself, and I even have spare for savings and help at home. This is how I made the conclusion that I’m not the most unfortunate person in the world, financially speaking.

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I’ll end this post with a simile. My patience is like food. Not because it’s edible or delicious, but for the similar reason that it has an expiration.

On Digital Sociability

I’m sure you logged on your facebook account today. Browsed for a couple of minutes, typed something on your wall, typed some more on other people’s wall, checked your messages, chat for a bit, etc., but try to quickly take a look at how many friends you have. Is that 487 people, right? Do you know all of them? If you do, congratulations. You can get the congeniality award. If you don’t, well, you are just like me and perhaps almost everyone else.

Roughly half of my friends are probably cyber friends, which could be better translated as either: someone who just added me randomly, or friend of a highschool friend’s cousin (Stop making than mental tree diagram). Why do I confirm them? Because.

Humanity is swelling up. Our environment is contracting. You don’t know what you need and who you might need for things that are yet to come. If you are the confident type, no problemo. Competition is apparent, and these days, having links and the right contacts has proven greater results than a double major degree with honors, maybe.

And that’s not even me. So, the chance that I will be indebted is larger. If you think that this appears to be like some kind of human exploitation, yes, you are probably right to some extent, but each of us is a breathing commodity. Sometimes you provide for other people, other times you take something from them. That’s how it works.

And now with the new media, it is even more complicated. Internet and network technology has changed the face of how we communicate and interact. Facebook, twitter, instant messaging, video calls, and mobile phones are parts of a normal day. Not only they make connections easier, they also made it cheaper and efficient.

When I was in senior high school, only about 4 or 5 (out of about 130) have mobile phones. 11 years ago, I started college at the age of 17 and I still don’t have my own mobile phone. I guess I only had it when I was on my 2nd year, a Nokia 3210 (which I eventually lost). There was no facebook or twitter, but there’re yahoo messaging and friendster. Like there’s an unwritten rule against them, anyone whose age could pass as my parent doesn’t have web profiles. But sooner, they were quick to catch-up. Very much.

It comes with this technological innovation a lot of other things. Recently, OMG, LOL, and the heart shape were included in the dictionary. With the advent of video streaming, people get instantly famous. A Filipina, for one, is now a Hollywood sensation, care of YouTube. I get to watch movies and tv series right at the comfort of my own desk. Modernism has seeped even up to serious matters. People now give official judiciary statements via skype. Professionals work from home. Information spread lightning-fast that eventually led to upheavals in Africa, or amass donations for Japan’s recent tragedy.

But with all these positives, surely there’s a catch. Apart from more and more people become slackers, and less and less people know how to spell properly, people put behind proper etiquette on sociability. Everyone started to take it less seriously.

If you add someone as a contact in a social site, a brief message won’t hurt. Don’t just creep on the internet and blindly click on the ‘Add as friend’ button. People are not expecting a full autobiography or a 10-page ala slam book entry but there has to be some reason.

Some people send instant messages while they appear offline. I don’t know if anyone else finds this a little bit impolite, but I think it’s more proper to let the person know you are there and not a sleeping grayed smiley icon. It shouldn’t be one-way. If you are busy and you don’t want to be disturbed so you appear offline, then don’t chat. It’s that simple. What makes you think you can disturb others? Not that I care too much about these, which frankly, I don’t. But there’s just something in these acts that tells me it’s not the most correct thing to do, well, personally, I mean.

Going back to the reason why I accept blind invites, it’s because I’m not giving in. I know things change, and this is probably me again, scrutinizing single tiny details of things, but what is the point of this post? The point is, let’s not forget being humans.

BookRecommendations: Kafka on the Shore

I rarely read book twice not because I think it’s boring the second time around but more for the reason that I have a lot of pending titles I wish to read. Kafka on the Shore by H. Marukami is an exception. I finished reading it again recently and it’s still one of the better fiction books I’ve read.

The story revolves around 2 individuals: First, the supposedly world’s toughest 15-year old, Kafka Tamura, and his eventful fate for about a month or two, and the second, ageing Nakata, who has this weird ability of conversing with cats and has his own share of unusual experience when he was younger. It began with Kafka’s planned escape on the eve of his 15th birthday. Abandoning his only known relative, his father, he has no certain idea where to head next. His mom, together with his adopted sister, left them when he was still young. Primarily the reason why he left his hometown is because he is on the run from something that would destroy him forever, if he stays any longer.

Meanwhile, Nakata leads a sedentary life, barely getting by the Governor’s subsidy, and busily finding lost cats takes up most of his day, a unique trade he secretly (and easily) excelled in. All of these changed course during his task to track Goma, a lost cat, and the sudden presence of an even stranger character, Mr. Johnnie Walker of Scotch Whisky.

It’s about the pursuit of love and truth in the midst of immorality, sexual desires, corruption, life and death, sorrow, jammed with riddles and an unexpected curse. Despite being highly fictitious with events like fish and leeches falling from the sky, a mysterious entrance stone to the other world, and presenting characters like Colonel Sanders (of Kentucky Fried Chicken) and Johnnie Walker (of Scotch Whisky), it will surely leave you thinking, which may not be in a very positive way, but something much profound and unimaginable.

Kafka on the Shore
Haruki Murakami
615 Pages