StripTease

concept from asofterworld and jun

ArtFilters

good news that you don’t have to read much of my non-sense now!

PopArt.

SoftFocus.

Pale and Light Color.

Light Tone.

Grainy Film.

Pinhole.

CrossProcess.

Olympus PEN EP-2

alright, so this is a preview review of EP-2..i believe i bore a lot of people from my previous post. lol, so i’ll not really try to put any technical writings, but just describe the capabilities of the camera. 

DigitaLomography. if you are into lomo and films, Oly Pen is a great choice if you go digital because you won’t miss the antics of films so much.. the camera has built-in art filters, many of which are effects and techniques that can be achieved in film photography. several Oly dslrs have art filters too. EP-2 has 8 filters, and 4 of these, i consider, are film adaptations:

1) PopArt, shots will be overly saturated. this is similar when i use my favorite colored film, Kodak PortaProVC;

2) Pinhole, which is the typical vignette found in lomos;

3) Grainy Film, a black and white processing with extra grains, similar to using a high-ISO B/W film;

4) Cross-process, to me, this is more a cross process of slide E-6 film into C-41 chemistry.

too bad they don’t have red-scale filter, maybe they could add this in newer versions or to a firmware update. other art filter includes: soft focus, pale and light, light tone, and diorama. the last one is a very effective technique of deceiving the picture to look like a diorama, or a small model version of a real world. the ability to take pictures in 6:6 aspect, meaning square shots, is a bonus because this is exactly what i get when using a medium-format holga 120GCFN! it is also possible to take multiple exposures..and allows up to 3 raw files to put on top of each other, making a multiple exposed effect. however, multiple exposure can only be activated when art filter is disabled, or on raw files.

VideoCapability. i’m not very much informed about videos, but it is nice to say the EP-2 is capable of taking HD quality videos. i’m pretty sure this is not a replacement to a full-time dedicated camcorder, but i’m just starting to learn more in motion picture and films, so i guess this one will suffice for now. all the film art filters i mentioned above can be applied when taking videos (really cool!), although the frame rate drops big time in pinhole and grainy film. i’ve yet to try the video maximum duration, but an 8GB card is definitely just sub 30 minutes of HD shooting.

Custom B/W. if you enjoy taking monotone pics, EP-2 will satisfy your options. not only it has the normal b/w mode, you can shoot your monotones with filters of red, green, neutral, yellow or orange. picture tone can be set to sepia, blue, purple, green or neutral. experimenting with combinations of these settings. it could give an extra color hint of your ordinary b/w shot.

HighISO. the maximum possible ISO being 6400 makes up for the lack of built-in flash. i’m not saying it’s no-noise at high ISO. they are very obvious actually. to be quite honest, i think i won’t be using the ISO at 6400 at all..maybe at some very very rare occasions. i undoubtedly think that ISO handling in my old 400D/Tamron is much better. even at the highest ISO at 1800, noise are almost untraceable. however, i take it that the pan lumix 20mm f/1.7 is fast enough in low lights. i’ve used the tamron f/2.8 for the 3 years or so, and it is fast enough for me. with the lumix at f/1.7, this is the biggest aperture lens i’ve had.

i’ll post some sample pics in the next post.

Meet Kafka

i mentioned a while ago that i’ve parted with haggy, my old and trusted 400D. it was really sad to let it go because unusually, i feel some personal attachments with things i own. but things, like almost everything in life, are transitory, so i just thought that i’ll be getting something better and it is more practical to gave up something old and get a new one rather than keeping all stuff to myself. last saturday, i got an olympus ep-2, named kafka. i made a complete change of camera system from canon to micro four-thirds pioneers - olympus and panasonic, so i’m still playing around the camera and getting used to it. also, this has to be the last biggest expenditure i’ll be having for the year (but i really really desire a macbook pro)…and now it’s high time to do some savings. i’ve been working and earning for 5 months now, and yet, i guess the max savings i have in my thin bank account is a pity $500.00. that’s an average of $100 a month. lovely!

in a typical dslr, the lens and the optical viewfinder are not in perfectly paralled position to each other. there is a mirror inside the camera’s body that reflects to the optical viewfinder (OVF), this is the reason why when you peek in the OVF, you see the actual projection of what the lens can see. almost WYSIWYG (but technically not exactly). for example, when you zoom the lens, the optical image in the viewfinder zooms as well, and when you block the lens, the view you have from the optical viewfinder is blocked too. this hardware setup made possible the light metering mode of TTL (through the lens, which is mostly used in SLR), because there is a connection between the OVF and the actual camera lens, again, through the mirror.

innovating their systems, the 2 companies developed a recent type of camera utilizing the same sensor for four-thirds, but removing the mirror in the body. this is called the micro four-thirds. the technology enabled the camera to be significantly small in size, but of course due to the absence of mirror, there is no viewfinder of eyepiece type. if you opt to use an OVF, there will be a parallax because it’s not exactly the sight of lens.

as of recent, panasonic and olympus released 6 models of micro-four thirds cameras, 3 for each company. the Oly Pen EP-2 is second to the latest from olympus after they release the EPL-1 this month. because of the absence of mirror, it’s not possible to have a mirrored optical viewfinder on micro four-thirds. technology has several alternatives to this problem. naturally, one is the use of LCD as liveview viewfinder. this is basically similar to what has been implemented ages ago with a normal point and shoot camera with LCD. newer dslrs have adapted this that it’s LCD can now be used for liveview as well (my canon 400d uses the lcd only for preview). second, the use of electronic viewfinder (EVF). panasonic released its first 2 micro four-third cameras (GH1 and G1) with a built in EVF. the initial impression of the public is, is this micro? easily judging by the fact that there’s not a visibly big difference in size compared to typical dslrs. the biggest difference of EVF compared to OVF is that the image you see in the viewfinder is actually a small-scaled LCD. you can see all the information, settings,focusing, preview, etc..the last option is, the use of a dedicated OVF attached through the hotshoe. there are several issues with the latter option and the biggest perhaps is that a particular type of OVF is only applicable and useful to one particular range or type of prime lens. each time you change a prime lens, you have to change an OVF designed for that lens. most importantly, the information can not be seen in the OVF. it defeats the purpose of using an OVF because you still have to look at the LCD to see the status anyway. all of these, plus the parallax.

       

for me, it has been hard to decide whether to get an Oly Pen EP-2 or the Panasonic GF1. i initially preferred the GF1 due to faster auto focus (AF), but decided that EP-2, despite having slower AF, will give me more additional functions, benefits, and versatility. i’m sold with olympus’ art filter alone, and with the impressive implementation of its EVF, i’m sure it’s worth the few extra dollars. GF1 is the 3rd and latest micro four-thirds from panasonic, and it’s not a bad camera at all. it is even better compared to EP-2, which is more recent, in a lot of points.

now that you have a better idea of the new system, i suppose i will not be talking about how many megapixels the camera has, etc.., these infos can be easily found elsewhere, so i’ll try to discuss more on its unique features, and why i chose an EP-2.

<to be continued..>

Top 10 Singlish Words

it has been 5 months and going since i land in the lion city, and one of the first major difficulty i have, apart from being extra cautious not because it’s unsafe here but more of because i don’t want to be caught in any unacceptable demeanour, is the way people speak english. i don’t want to give an impression that i’m saying my english, or filipino english for that matter, is better, because the thing is, english is not my first language either, and i occasionally find myself finding words to explain things in english too. singlish just different, and because i’m not familiar with it, it was natural for me to ask, and it took time to adjust. even up to now, i can’t understand some of the things my boss are telling me, and i know they are very crucial in my work. i just try to make things clear by repeating to them aloud what i’ve understood, and fortunately most of the time, they nod. so to give you an idea about how it’s like, i’m listing the top words singaporeans just love. of course, i can’t in any way try to imitate their accent from this blog, so, just read.

# 10 - WRONGLY. whenever you say or did something that is not right, then according to uncle and auntie you did it wrongly. well, making the adverb form, this is gramatically correct. it’s just something i don’t hear or use very often.

# 9 - COME. the last time i checked, i’m not a dog, but singaporeans would command you to come. when they say this, this is just one word. it doesn’t go in the form, come with me, or come to my place. perhaps they are just so economical that they don’t say much words at all.

# 8 - SOUNDS VERY FUNNY. well, this is not originally my observation but a housemate and officemate told me this. then, i heard my colleague say this, so i guess it’s true. sounds very funny ah? hahaha

# 7 - FOR YOU. this is the word of the merchants. i’ve been hearing this way back when i was living in hong kong. when you ask for the price of something, they will start with..for you, and then followed by some punching on a calculator to visually show you the price. very clever indeed that you won’t have any confusion in dealing, again, the chinese efficiency. but sometimes this is not good too, because it led me to think that that price he quoted is for me, how about for others? will it be cheaper?

# 6 - GO BACK. this is a singapore-original. it usually means, go home. so when you ask your boss what time can you leave office, he will say, at 6pm, can go back already. i was initially surprised by this because i’ve always thought that going back is going to where i am at the moment, and i have no utmost desire to go back to work when i haven’t even left.

# 5 - SURE NOT. this doesn’t mean it is absolutely not. this is a shortcut for sure or not. again, the chinese efficiency. they think it’s common sense already so they dropped the word OR. since this is a question, they except a reply from you, so don’t be silly and just agree with what they said. i’m also hypothesizing that they drop the OR because it contains the letter R. as there is no letter R in chinese, it would be more confusing to hear sure all not.

# 4 - HAVE. like COME, this is just a one-word sentence for singaporeans. but the good thing is, it’s not misleading at all. it simply means that they have, or it has, something has it. so like when you say, is there mayonaise in your sandwich?, they answer, have!

# 3 - ALREADY / FINISH ALREADY. one of the most beloved words in singlish is already. you can pretty much hear this in almost all context. contrary to chinese efficiency of come and have, they even use the word, already, even if it’s not exactly needed. for example, where is your friend?,the answer is “he go back already!”. more examples: i’m hungry already!, i’m late already!, are you going to the market already?

the second form of this is, finish already. like for you, this is a merchant’s lingo. when you are looking for something and it’s not available aka out of stock, then it is finish already.

# 2 - LAH. this will not be the second most loved word if you’ll not hear it all the time. perhaps, this is the most used word for everyday, and although there is no exact equivalent in american or british english language, nor you can find it in standard dictionary, it is widely acceptable and singaporeans will understand you better if you finish all your sentences with lah. i’m not exaggerating but this is probably a spoken period for the local, the same as in mandarin, the question mark is a spoken ma (i.e., in ni hao ma).

# 1 - CAN / CAN NOT. i believe i don’t have to explain this much, but there’s really a lot of things to talk about this number 1 singlish word. first, they pronounce it like as in the name ken, barbie dolls’ partner in life. this is an implementation of chinese efficiency again, and the word usually goes by itself, just like have and come. it is also not misleading as it simply means being able to, it is able, or something is achievable. you can also start your sentence with can when asking if something is possible or allowed like, can eat here?,  or can finish the program?

can not is the second form, and of course, it means the negative. they don’t say can’t, it must be can not. normally there will be a brief pause in between these 2 words when saying out loud. can - - not.

okay, i’m preempting you, dear readers, that i’m not discriminating or being racist. i can assure you i am someone who understands differences in culture and backgrounds more than anyone else. i’m not saying there’s anything wrong with singlish, in fact, they are all almost gramatically correct, and if not, it’s not rocket science to understand them. this is just something i want to write, and i am a very opinionated person, if that’s a problem, keep it to yourself.

sounds very funny ah?

Trolokie, Bintan Music Video

okay, this is my first attempt at music video productions so, don’t be harsh.

Jeremy meets Indonesia.

south-east asia → malay peninsula → indonesia → bintan island 

to make the most out of the holiday, and take advantage of where i am geographically, i try to go out of singapore whenever i can. it was destination indonesia last weekend with some friends and flatmates. just like i mentioned previously i might have a problem with my passport, but it turned out i needlessly worried because there was not a single issue from getting out of singapore, to getting in indonesia, and coming back to singapore. of course i was tensed during my short encounters with immigrations, but things went smooth, and i had enough luck to get by. we left singapore from tenah merah around 6ish pm on a saturday, a full-hour delayed from our original departure time. i know it’s a waste of time already ’cause we could have taken an earlier ferry but everything was sold out when i booked nearly a month ago. that is how things work out with singaporeans, they are fast, vigilant, and make sure they’re not left out. so, for next chinese new year, i’ll book my destination as early as this coming christmas.

tanjung pinang, indonesia is separated by a 3-hour ferry ride from singapore. it may not be calmest water, but its still manageable. the good (and weird thing) is that bintan indonesia is an hour late of singapore time, so we got there around 8pm indo time, or 9pm sg time. it’s weird because geographically, we moved to east by sea, and moving to east for as long as not crossing the dateline normally means going ahead of time, just like how tokyo is an hour ahead of manila, or auckland is 4 or 5 hours ahead. in this case it’s the opposite, bintan, is an hour late of singapore time. i didn’t care adjusting my time, and i don’t own a recent enough mobile phone that will adjust it’s time automatically.there were 9 of us total, and i’m not really used to traveling with as many as this, but it’s a nice change and more fun. it’s also cheaper ’cause we’re able to split all expenses significantly. our main destination is nostalgia resort, inside agro beach in trikora, bintan. this is 45 minutes by land from tanjung pinang port. after looking for our pick-up for a few minutes, we were on the minibus snaking roads so familiar i would have guessed it’s somewhere in the philippines if only i don’t have a clue. the biggest difference is that traffic comes from the left, just like in malaysia, and traffic is on the right back home.

we availed 2 family rooms. 1 room with 5 person, and another with 4. rooms are big enough, actually i think we could all fit in 1 room, but they have rules on capacity. nostalgia is just a cheap accommodation, and it’s far from your typical holiday beach hotel. the good thing though is that we get the chance to visit other nearby resorts for free, which appears to be more decent and have more facilities we could use. first night was karaoke night after dinner. we brought some food with us (complete with rice cooker) to save money. most of us were millionaires in indonesia. i own exactly 1,000,000 rupiahs when i entered in the country, but it didn’t take a long time to finish it because a glass of fruit juice is 20,000, i got a souvenir for my mom for another 50,000, flying fish ride was 65,000, and on our last day, we tasted the local food, and i bought a meal for about 40,000.

after the karaoke was the ubiquitous pinoy henyo game back in the girls room where we finished a liter of vodka before getting some sleep. we still have another bottle of baileys left, and this proved to be no problem for the next night. early the next day was breakfast of hotdog, rice, and adobo. we were all geared for food that it was really funny it looks like we were going to some relief operations rather than a beach outing. we have uncooked rice, fresh eggs, boiled eggs, instant noodles, salted eggs, hotdogs, tomatoes and onions, adobo, caldereta, fried fish, and we even planned to buy some meat for barbeque! then finally to the beach in cabana, it’s 8-km from where we are staying, but it was a short ride and free shuttle. we didn’t stay really long because we plan to do some water activities back in agro resort. after some swimming and pictures, we head back for lunch, again our own food, and was a bit disappointed because it was extremely low tide so not possible for banana boat, kayak or flying fish. it was amazing, however, that we literally walked dry towards a small island in front of the shore that it’s not possible to do without getting at least up to your waist wet in the early mornings when the tide is high. several sets of volleyball occupied our time, and with 2 of my teammates obviously better than myself, i saved my face having to crawl underneath wide open legs of our opponents. they also having swimming pools so it was good i didn’t miss our swimming lessons. dinner time back at the base, then outside to the beach because there’s supposed to be a party. it was valentine’s day, but i don’t have to say that i don’t really observe this. the party was a blast! not! no one was dancing despite the tremendous effort of the lady dj to produce hip-hop techno pop music, i think even the sand refused to dance. the event poster says it starts 8pm (i think?) until drop, but apparently, it dropped after half an hour. anyway, we continued the fun again in the girls room, gulping the last bottle of alcohol we brought. all the girls are fastened on their beds, so sorry they missed baileys. as for the next day, it was fast after having breakfast, and finally getting on the flying fish we were suppose to take the day before. no one has tried this before among us, so we don’t have any idea how thrilling it is. i tried banana boat with my family before, but it was tad boring until the banana capsized. it appears we’ve underestimated the ride. i would say it’s more of a challenge than an actual enjoyable ride. you have to cling yourself not to fall down as the inflatable vessel is going vertical, skidding, and sometimes lifting from the water surface. it’s like carrying your own body weight solely relying on your arms, and with the salty water splashing everywhere, it’s slippery wet. all of us managed to survive without major injury and all of us were just thinking that it would look shameful to just let go. at this moment, we still have a few hours for swimming, some did sea kayak, more pictures and then get back to the inn to prepare for 12 o’clock check-out. we won’t be leaving indonesia until 6 in the evening, but we have to travel by land to the port which is 45-minutes away. we had lunch, and i easily spent some 40,000 on a plate of squid kebabs, 2 bowls of rice, and a chocolate drink.

going back to singapore was uneventful except for the extra bumpy ferry ride that brought some fear to passengers. i heard several puked but i endured the trip closing my eyes and trying to relax, although it’s perverse they have final destination on tv showing all fatal happenings while we were in the middle of the sea being cradled mightily by nature.

back to singapore, immigration didn’t give me a hard time at all i was even able to sneak in 2 packs of cigarettes (thanks to mark for bringing in 1). just for statistics, the expense for each of us is about $130 SGD including all transport, accommodation for 2 nights, food, booze, and some activities. traveling and getting out doesn’t really need to be glamorous or expensive, you just be more appreciative of the local scene and set aside things you think you can survive without, such as an air-conditioned room.

the moral lesson of this story is: one, make sure your passport is at least six months valid at all times. most countries in asia require this, and you might not be able to get in even for just a few days vacation. two, if you’re passport happened to be invalid for at least 6 months, take the risk.

i will get my new machine-readable passport next month.

More Pics

goodbye haggy

yesterday, i let go of my old canon camera. it has been a great 3,5 years spent with my 400d and it’s one of my things that has always been with me wherever i go, just like my backpack. i had a great deal thinking whether to sell it or not but in the end, i realize i need the money to fund its replacement and i guess it will just end up under used, stocked in a cabinet if i keep it, so it’s better to sell it and at least someone will find it more useful.

the last performance of haggy, my 400d, was just last weekend in bintan, indonesia for the chinese new year holiday. pictures here. i could probably make a separate post for indonesia trip as soon as i get more timeto write.. but right now, i’d like to highlight my visit to california fitness last night after selling haggy.

the agents have been calling me endlessly over the past weeks so i just decided i’ll give it a try. most people have been telling me not to go as they are extremely persuasive, but i’m confident to say that i’m probably the most decisive person, and my wallet is far more decisive than myself so no matter what gimmicks they offer, they’ll only get me if the offer is 1) FREE, and 2) far too good to be realistic. i just go ahead to give them a chance and to try their in-body analysis. i met the filipina staff, and showed me around. then, set for the analysis. they offered me to try both inbody body composition analysis and polar owntest system analysis, which is pretty interesting as they showed detailed results and impressive stats if they’re true. my blood pressure is a heightened 136/90, so i guess i better relax more and take it easy on coffee. this is really high for my age, but im not sure if it’s because i’m a bit tensed when they measure me, or my whole body soring from all the activities last weekend contributed to it. we’ve been drinking alcohol for 2 consecutive nights too during the holiday, so i better check my BP again when i’m in my usual state. the shocking part is my body age. the machine says that i’m 28 years old, 2 full years ahead of my real age. the 2-year surplus is largely contributed by the systolic and diastolic pressure they got from me, and the bicep strength and wall sit duration. my bicep strength is 31.7 kgs, and this just sits in the fair category. the wall sit, sitting for 97 seconds, is in the moderate class but i stood up much earlier than i can hold for, maybe shy that i’m taking the test too seriously like i’m in for some guiness record. my body water is measured at 64.3%, moderate is pegged at 60-65% for males, so now i’m certain i’m not dehydrated. and finally for the most interesting part, my body weight is 59.9 kg (this is 132 lbs, i’ve been a lot heavier than this before), of which 52.7 kg is lean body mass (muscles, bones, and tissues) and 7.2 kg is fat mass making my percentage body fat at 12.1%, which is in the low range according to the machine.

it says:

 “jeremy, your body fat is in the low range. this range is recommended for athletes.” 

i almost say wow i’m an athlete!until this message was followed by:

“being in the low range poses health risks and is not recommended for non-athletes”.

hahaha

back to business, they enthusiastically explained all the benefits i could get in gym training with just how little time they require. but to be quite honest, i’m not prepared to shed $79 a month for a full year, and this is already discounted from the regular rate of $110. much more, with all the things i’m doing, i’m not sure if it’s going to be worth paying for it and using gym for once or only twice a week. afterall, it’s not that i’m living a non-active, sedentary life. i’m surprised they even asked me when was the last time i had exercise. were they expecting me to answer, “last year?”. i swim for at least an hour every tues, thurs, and saturday and i’ve been doing this for about 2 months. i know i’ve been steadfast here that in fact, i don’t have one single day of absence and i’m hitting the pool after work today even my body, especially my arms, is still sore tons of swimming and riding flying fish boat in indonesia. mostly during my days off the water, i run at least 4km each, sometimes as much as 8km. i take rest maybe 2 nights a week, and recently i’ve started to lift 5-kg dumbbell, and an improvised 10-kg barbell. i take a centrum every day, and a 500-mg vitamin C each day as well.

the summary, i’m trying to keep fit without having to pay too much, and at the same time, i think i enjoy running on my own and actually moving than being in a lane of crowded treadmills with other people’s heavily sweating thighs on my sides. i want you to know that i have full respect for professionals in this area, however, to each his own and i can’t stress enough that i’m not just capable of such luxury.

thanks, but no thanks.

warning: do not drink energy drink. it is seriously bad for humanity.

this is probably the most unoriginal, cliched, over-discussed topic of all time, but i’ll discuss it anyway. everything that happens in this world has a reason, and things that happen to you every single day, no matter how insubstantial, trivial it seems like is chained to things that are more obvious and significant for you to take notice. just like the way i’m typing this entry now and drinking a can of redbull at the same time. perhaps if i’m not drinking this energy potion i would have been too sleepy and devoid of power to even think and hit my keyboard, and then you will not be reading something as poetic, enlightening and profound as jeremy’s doodlings, and then your life will be ever the same lacking the encouragement so minuscule as reading this thing can give. you will suffer from under use of your brain, lie coma in bed for 20 years, and then gone. or the case that this whole entry takes up 5 kilobytes of computer memory, and the moment i click the upload button, this chunk of electronic data instantaneously travels along the cables and wires, deep underground into the tunnels and sea, or high into the air and space and satellites, to be uploaded into i.ph’s server that is at the brink of total crash only waiting for that tiny 5 kilobytes to ignite the start of web space collapse. all the other doodlings hosted herein will be gone, and more and more people will be comatized. or maybe an online store will go offline as part of the crash again because of my 5kb-data, and then a lady that is supposed to buy a simple, inexpensive dress for an unimportant event can’t get the dress of course. a stranger, the man who is suppose to be her partner in life if she only got that dress, didn’t take notice of her in the event, and ignores her entirely as if she never existed. for that, she spent the rest of her life alone, and turned into an old maid. if she only had that dress at that particular night, she would have been the mother of julien wright, the inventor of the first teleportation machine.

okay, the last one is a bit too imaginative. maybe the synapses in my nerves have been running and chasing each other way too fast because of the red bull…see? it’s the red bull after all, maybe i should stop drinking this…

***

when i was a farmer far far away in the farmlands, we always have tuesday take-away nights, when after the long day’s work of tending at the vineyards or picking gazillions of apples, we go out and buy something to eat instead of cooking cheap meals. the most famous food combination in this faraway land is fish and chips, and more often, we get this because its cheap too just like cooking our very own cheap meals. i was with a friend, fabian, once, and we were walking at the nearest fish and chips shop. the lady behind the glass had this unpaintable frown on her face. we were about to enter the shop when suddenly, fabian told me to get the fish and chips in the next block as the fish is stale in the shop we’re in. a bit surprised, and unsure how he got to that point, i asked him, and then he answered me that since the lady looks miserable, she probably didn’t change the oil in deep fryer for the longest time. i cooperatively agreed and added that by eating stale fish and chips we might get sick, and because we’re sick we can’t go to work. if we don’t work we don’t have money, and when we don’t have money fabian can’t visit australia, and i can’t go for a sky dive…and that is just sad.

could you ever imagine that that miserable lady is trying to ruin our very happy lives?

we all have to wait at some point in our lives.

every morning, i have a running stopwatch in my mind so i can get to the office on the dot right before half past eight. by 7.15, my alarm clock activates for the first time. i stand up to get it and press the snooze button, check if the airconditioning is off, which i set every night to stop at about 5am, turn off the tiny lamp (the type that you just directly plug in an outlet), and go back to bed when at this moment, i don’t have any difficulty to go back in deep trance. at 7.30, the alarm goes again, which means definitely i have to get up. for a quick 5 minutes, i ready my backpack making sure i have inside what i need: my lunchbox (i have a quick visit to the kitchen to get it from the fridge), mobile phone, mp3 player and headset, and a paperback copy of something, which is murakami’s kafka on the shore at the moment. on special days, like tuesdays and thursday, i toss in extra stuffs like my goggles, nose clip, a towelette, and a pair of trunks for swimming later after work. this is followed by a quick shower, a not too serious one as i always take a more serious shower before getting to bed at night. i get back in my room and 5 minutes later, i get out dressed in some unpressed yet semi-formal clothes, put on my shoes, and walk briskly to the train station.

by 8 o’clock, i have to be at the platform or else, i’ll be late. the platform is on the second level, and sometimes i take the lift because it was in perfect timing to be open after tapping my mrt card and walking towards the escalator. at one time, i was inside the lift with other people, the doors started to close and about a split second before it entirely shuts, an old lady was trying to get in. with the perfect vision i have, i would be lying if i say i didn’t notice her, but i pretend i didn’t because if i did, i would lose pratically 30 seconds. i did not press the open button nor have the heart press the close button to completely eradicate her. instead, i simply stood there and stared at an empty space. the machine decided to go on with its job, and took us upstairs. at the very moment we reached the platform, the train door is still hanging open just like it’s waiting for me to get in because as soon as i was inside, it closed, and then it moved along its steady pace. at this point i decided that the lift made a good job because i could have missed the train if it opened for the old lady. it’s a short 7-station or 20-minute ride to the office so i don’t bother to sit, but that’s not to say there are any seats left anyway. i can’t help but think what i’ve done earlier. the picture of an old local lady assisted by a bamboo cane is haunting my mind and i felt a bit guilty. what if she’s in an important errand? or on her way to get some necessary medication that she has to take precisely at a certain time. would she be late? i don’t know, but i know for certain that i would be late the lift waited for her. see? i don’t even say that “if i waited for her..”  because i take it that it’s out of my league really. if the lift did wait for her, i imagine running late for work, and getting to the office maybe at 8.34, that’s 4 fucking minutes late. i drop my backpack, and before opening my computer, even that tiny few seconds of pressing the power button, i don’t. i pay a visit first to my boss to sign my daily timesheet. i’m not yet finish writing the time down when he looks sternly on his wristwatch, but still remained quiet. and yes, that happened in real life..but i guess at that morning when i left the old lady i thought to myself, not today.

***

as a consolation, i consider that it’s not too bad. i didn’t abandon her in the middle of a crazy street or something. she could wait for the lift the second time around. it’s not too bad really, right?